October 2010
1 post
hiatus
i cut my teeth
on the boardwalk
where a girl and her mother
walked in long dresses.
the way the linen flowed
from their shoulders
to their calves
reminded me why i breathe.
i broke a bottle
in a back alley
in the right neighborhood
on the wrong side of town.
i wrote a letter
never meant to be read
by some damned harlot
with unforgiving eyes.
i took the pill
without looking back
...
May 2010
2 posts
waiting for blue number two
i often worry what people will say
I’ve been worrying less often
its better off that way.
i walk on the tips of my toes
why i do such things
no one really knows.
i once caught eyes with a beautiful girl
she said to me, “hello”
i said to her, “farewell”.
i crack my hands bone by bone
strangers always stare at me
yet it lets me feel at home.
i string my...
wishful drinking.
i want to know
what beautiful means
i want to hear
how beautiful sings
i want to see
what beautiful dreams
i want to meet
a beautiful being.
i want to hold
a beautiful thing
i want to stitch
its beautiful seams
i want to adore
its beautiful gleam
i want to know
what beautiful means.
April 2010
1 post
generation conflict
we are the sons
who forgot our fathers names
not for lack of love
but because of our digital age.
we are the daughters
who long to be our mothers
falling in and out of love
vowing to not be like the others.
we are the future
of an unforgiving world
where we cant afford degrees
and we cant afford our bills.
we are the writers
who can never write
because nothing interesting happens
...
March 2010
6 posts
the perfect dream.
how sweet
these little rhymes
with which we use
as songs to sing as we fall asleep.
how longing
the way we peer
at our lonely phones
to see if each other is calling.
how fantastic
you must look
in that long spring dress
weaving in and out of traffic.
how romantic
the way our legs
twist and tangle
so perfectly like we planned it.
how sinful
the way my hands
scan your body
like a...
growth spurt.
i felt it today
the ground was slowly
but surely, very surely
farther and farther away.
further from you
that much i know
that much im sure of
that much is true.
look at these beautiful miles
between us, an excuse
between us, your reason
just between us, they make me smile.
but wait, i also grow clever!
as you grow more distant
as you grow less loving
as you change with the...
the saddest of songs (could use a re-write)
there was a day
well, more a night
when a child died
and a young man cried.
and there was a song
the man sang to the boy
with the saddest words
and a smile so coy.
the words, so true
the melody, so sweet
and the boy inside the man
began to weep.
the boy was buried
inside the man
with not so much
as a holding hand.
and the waves
they crashed against the rocks
and the people...
the flood (second entry)
I am an architect
And I made a complex
For all of the gods
In this world.
I left my hope
In the main hallway
And locked the door
To a faithful prison.
And it was bombed
By radicalists
And the impact
Shifted the tides.
And as my gods roamed free
The tide rose
The flood approached
And my hope drifted into the sea.
I left the coffee shop with a bad taste in my mouth. I replaced this...
the ballad of young shakespeare.
when young shakespeare
was floating towards the heavens
from the road he died on
the angels let go.
he fell back down to earth
and cursed the gods
for ending his salvation
and abandoning him.
young shakespeare walked the road
and for one hundred miles
he passed the ghosts
of those that fell down with him.
young shakespeare was in love
and his love was unrequited
so on that road full...
a letter to my younger self.
hey there kid
you may not know it
but you lived a lot of life
in a short time.
but listen here kid
somewhere down the road
you’ll stop remembering dreams
and wake up sadder and sadder.
here’s the thing kid
don’t go giving up those dreams
love changes with the seasons
but you’re here year round.
take it from me kid
those mistakes you made
ain’t...
February 2010
5 posts
way too traditional.
there is no hidden meaning
in these words that I write
but walking this line im leaning
with hopes of falling to the right.
for to my right is you
and to the left is the sea
and if my love isn’t true
than you deserve better than me.
it’s true that I may drown
for I am unable to swim
but without you, this town
feels emptier than sin.
so why not make me feel whole?
if you...
the flood (first entry)
Devil’s coming round
Them skies turned black
His hush hit the ground
Them seas turned black
The floods coming down
My eyes turned black
And I’m gonna drown
These lungs have cracked.
We met for coffee, she’s going to tell me about her engagement; the flood is coming. I didn’t have much expression left, more confidence pressed into my neatly ironed shirt. I wasn’t in love with her, I never...
foreshadowing
if i tell you
that i love you
will you believe me?
if i say
“not today”
will you understand?
if by next week
we’ve fallen asleep
in other peoples sheets
will you care?
if i say
“all will be well”
will i be right?
my thoughts need time
to gather up,
leave their respective coasts
and meet me here.
if i sit on your bed
and tell you i love you,
but that...
the day after ironic monday.
i could have had
a cup of coffee
anywhere in this city
but you would never be
just anywhere.
i could have told
anyone in the world
that i absolutely
love them,
but i told her.
and anyone can fall in love
twice in the same day,
but it was me,
and im usually
very unlucky.
a year ago
i would have been married
and that cup of coffee,
and your singing,
would have been wishful...
envy of obligation
today
i was envious
of a professor
because he was able
to speak to someone
i will never be able
to speak to
and he was only
doing his job
and i want that job.
i am envious
of the fathers
who get to see
their lovely daughters
every day
because i may see
their daughters
but they won’t recall
seeing me.
i am envious
of the dead
and of the unconcerned
because they rest...
January 2010
8 posts
if i wrote post-it notes this would be the first
these are my notes to you
you must always trust they are true
and if i cant rhyme
dont call it a crime
its just what we poets do.
too tired.
i woke up
one morning
to a screaming alarm
but i was too tired
to really care.
so i would dream
for fifteen minutes
at a time
until the box screamed again.
i was still
too tired.
it was at the last possible minute
that i decided to wake up
and embrace reality
though i dreamt
in the shower
because i was just
too tired.
sometimes
i wonder why i bother
dealing with reality
if i...
conversation with two mad strangers.
a few nights ago
i had a talk
with two mad strangers
one man
one woman
we smoked cigarettes
and sat in a still night
being fidgety
and discussing obsessions.
these strangers
had the kind of obsessions
they gave you pills for
and told you
to “hold on”.
the man talked about problems
always the kind your mother
never wants to hear about
and in his case
she didn’t.
...
life partner
people like to ask me
if i look this way
on purpose.
and aside from genetics
the whole thing
is planned out.
you should make a joke
of your appearance
so people laugh
when they meet you.
and sometimes
they laugh
because they know you’re joking
and those people are rare.
possession’s are usually boring
and even rare thing’s
aren’t very rare,
not like good...
worse in person
a lot of things in life
are very disappointing
when you stop dreaming about them
and start experiencing them.
like when the four horseman
of the apocalypse
rode down from the sky
on tandem bicycles.
or graduating from law school
and your first big case
is prosecuting
a football star.
yes
things are much worse
in person
and some things
are bad enough
in dreams.
girls
there was one girl
years ago
who wore life
like a flower
and with her
everyday was spring
she was beautiful
in every possible way
and she loved me
and i didn’t know why
the things i gave her
and the words i shared
could never compare
to what she said to me
when we kissed
i remember the flowers
and holding her hand
and the smile
that belonged in photographs
and on statues
...
no gods only man
if there is no god
and there is no devil
then i want you
in my heaven.
if this isnt living
i dont need life
but i want you
at least in theory.
even in my dreams
i get let down
but at least in reality
its high definition.
if theres no justice
than its just us
no gods,
only man.
only you,
only me,
only us,
forever free.
if love is just a game
thank god
(or man)
that...
love for thirty seconds.
i fell in love
in a video store
with a beautiful girl
who caught my eye.
she was vicious
this girl
like sid
but nobody was stabbed.
i should have just asked her
to marry me
right then
in that video store.
i knew it was love because
we caught each others eyes
not once
but three times.
she was there with two men
but frankly
i deserve her company
far more.
it was heartbreaking
...
December 2009
5 posts
vacation
i took a vacation
to be with you
and we met
on a beautiful beach
before running through
tropical jungles
and sliding down
the tallest mountains
we danced atop clouds
and dove through hurricanes
to swim with brightly colored fish
we ran through dreams
and laughed off our nightmares
we laid in a lush field
and told each other secrets
and made promises
and fell in love
we will miss...
lost and found
i thought i lost you
on the sea of existence
where my mind was drifting
overboard.
i knew i found you
when i smiled and everything
came together, all at once
without a frown.
lets write forever
in this digital sea
where all writings shared
and ignored.
and sleep with glory
when just one writing
calms this sea
and we smile.
meeting you again
my moral compass was off
the magnetism of our history
must have reversed north and south
and i was left with no direction.
it was like
i was meeting you again,
you were more of a stranger
then before we had ever met.
there was a wolf
under red riding’s hood,
and i craved the nourishment
of that basket of horrors.
who are we?
are we the people
in those happy pictures
from...
watching birds
i saw it today
driving downtown
smoking a cigarette
as a billboard
told me what i need to own.
i was watching the birds
flying together
landing on the billboard
and taking off again
to land
on the same billboard.
sometimes
a bird would be missed
and he would circle
until he found an opening.
we are so much like birds
drifting endlessly
in whatever direction
the group decides.
...
two words
its that
time again,
for love
to begin.
just as
winter fades,
we’ll share
summer days.
when we
hold hands,
i feel
whole again.
will you
marry me,
when we
are seventy?
these two
words are,
my love
from afar.
these two
words mean,
what my
heart dreams.
i love
you dear,
especially when
you’re near.
cant wait
to meet,
you when
i sleep.
love story
i found us in a frame
in the largest art museum in europe
we were side by side
and they called us “the lovers”.
we exist in the movies, my dear,
as fantasies
for we are what the world believes
is true love.
photographs of us extend the globe
showing a love that blossomed
immediately off the boat
from a hellish war.
we are the subjects of news articles
for the most well...
November 2009
11 posts
anger
i have learned
that i live with disease.
that i am not a god
for i have imperfections.
i possess anger
that has no appetite.
this anger floods my veins
and is not for show.
this anger reveals itself
to no one but me.
this anger ravages my insides
and breaks my hold on reality.
it pits my body against itself
until my rib cage explodes.
and the bones fly
everywhere.
the explosion...
Anarchy in the OK
cops busting kids
drinking in a field
in north dakota.
crossing imaginary state lines
and receiving choke holds
from a law that doesn’t exist
five miles away.
immediate rehabilitation
to the drug users
caught with a bag of grass
so they don’t
ruin their lives.
speeding tickets
for the teenage drivers
because kids cant drive
but everyone’s an asshole on the...
Baptism
i walked through empty streets
with the world by my side
as explosive raindrops
fell on my thick wool coat.
and as the water seeped to my skin
i knew this was my baptism,
decades later
without false gods;
and i was filled with clarity.
your love does not haunt me
as much i hoped it would.
my heart grew old and died,
and all i did was grow one stronger.
my new heart holds no burdens,
...
rebirth
sometimes
we are like children
with scraped knees.
and we cry
for our mothers
to ease our pain.
and we look at the sky
getting lost in pale blues
and contrasting whites.
and we forget who we are
and become the pain
that makes us cry.
we need to search
for our pain killer
and for a mother
inside of us.
and we will be reborn
with speech bubbles
circling our heads
saying,
...
beautiful rings
lets pack our bags
and burn our bridges
cut our ties
and escape.
we will only go
as far as the fork
exchange goodbyes
and part ways.
i will walk alone
through endless fields
in search of love
and myself.
i will ask the gods
to give me the thing
that i have always
wanted the most.
red rover
red rover
send angels on over
so that they may teach me to fly,
i will take my wings
and...
not everything translates
i have explored libraries
in foreign countries
with foreign languages
and have made translations
of love.
and i searched every index
of every book
and we were nowhere.
and i looked in alleyways,
and bars,
and photo-booths,
and parks,
and universities,
in search of the foreign us
but it never translates.
apocalypse then
i have wasted
years of words
on the deaf
and unrequited.
and i would like
those years back
so my world
can be quiet.
and i will wake
and go outside
and watch the people
drift like flocks.
and rest my feet
in earthly pillows
where blades of grass
are city blocks.
and the sun smiles
at these cities
for they have no wars
and no machines.
and i will smile
at the sun
because...
dear stranger
dear stranger
why dont i know your name?
dear stranger
will you be my friend?
dear stranger
did i misread your look?
dear stranger
can i take you out?
dear stranger
can we go back to your place?
dear stranger
do you love me?
dear stranger
will this last forever?
dear stranger
is this where you thought you would be?
dear stranger
do you like being here with me?
dear stranger
...
weird
i spent time with a girl
that i do not care about
and things are getting weird.
i worked endless shifts
at a job with no reward
and things are getting weird.
people died on the news today
and racism is on the rise
and things are getting weird.
the dead walked the earth
but only to pay bills
and things are getting weird.
i was sad this morning
and smiling at night
and things are...
all at once.
i was walking today
and i saw a girl
and she smiled at me
and all at once i fell in love with her
and we went out for coffee
and paid with exact change
and met a few more times
and all at once we were together
and we talked about music
and shared records
and laughed like children
because all at once
we were happy
and we slowly stopped talking
and we slowly started fighting
and we...
October 2009
8 posts
writers block party.
sometimes
late at night
when i can not think
and my fingers are broken
i have a writers block party.
and all of my closest friends come
the girl who could have saved me
the drink that broke my tolerance
the poison that won’t go out
the decision i never made.
and we sit together
and drink heavily
and i tell them
“i will live forever.
because one day
a flood will come,
...
i will write for you, and only you.
when i woke up today
i started writing you a letter
and it contained all the things
needed to make us work.
when i woke up the next day
my hair was a little longer
my eyes a little heavier
my body a little older
and my heart a little colder.
and i wrote you a letter that day
and it contained all the things
that i have wanted to say
from the years before that day.
when i woke up the...
burning holes
if i stare at the sun
for days on end
will it burn holes
where my eyes once called home?
and if it does
will you look into me
and rest mirrors in the holes
to look at yourself
the way i look at you?
and will you turn with disgust
when you see the perverted truth
of a man who sees not with eyes
but without filters?
and if my mirrors reflect the sun
will you hide in the dark?
or let...
will you
will you marry me
when we are old
when my hands are cracked
and my lips are dry?
or will you believe me
when my words no longer coax
when my sentences don’t flow
and my lines no longer charm?
will you drive with me
when i cant see my hands in front of my face
when i swerve between lanes
and when i pull over to shout your name?
will you tell me
when i am a monster
when i have...
excerpt from new short story
this is a brief section of a short story im working on. thanks for reading.
Highway 20
I was driving home at four in the morning. I left the town I had spent less than ten hours in feeling worse than when I came. I passed a few packing plants along the way; I considered pulling over and looking for work. Anyone who asked me why I had gone out of town that night got only one reply, research. I was...
flowers.
i thought of you again today
today seemed like a day you would have loved
i thought of rewriting history
rewriting what happened between us
i thought about time travel
traveling to when you were near
i thought about flying
flying us both away from this place
i thought about flowers
the ones that always remind me of you
i thought about love
and the love i never promised you
i thought...
The Decline of Midwestern Civil Relations
March 1933, Dachau was opened in Germany. August 6th 1945, the bomb “Little Boy” was dropped on Hiroshima. April 2009, I was betrayed. I have never felt the searing pain of hell raining down from bombs, nor have I felt the torment of my brothers struck down for their beliefs. I have felt an unforgettable pain, the pain that aches like broken legs in your mind. I went through an emotional...
working title working words
maybe i was wrong
maybe im a horrible creature
maybe my judgements clouded my vision
maybe i havent seen for a long time
maybe i was right
maybe youre a horrible creature
maybe i am a judge
maybe i saw through you
with so many maybes
with so many people
with so many places
with so many things
maybe i was wrong
maybe we were right
maybe the timing was off
maybe my words were off
...
September 2009
3 posts
easy.
it should always be easier to evade a man
than your taxes
unless youre trying to evade
the tax man
because theres no law higher than greed
and the tax man is high on greed
and tweakers can run
fast.
i learned a lot of lessons.
i learned about women
i learned about wine
i learned about wealth
i learned about sadness
i learned about euphoria
i learned about myself
i learned about you
i learned about hate
i learned to hate what i learned
i learned to hate you
i learned about what drives people to the edge, to the madhouse, to the hospital waiting rooms, to the churches, to the courts, to the gods, to the women,...
bad taste.
My experience with her was nostalgic at best
A faint reminder of my childhood
My first bite into my first apple
The unfamiliar taste of sweetness
An ever increasing sense of mystery as I sunk my teeth deeper
Each bite became more precious than the last
I fell for the poisoned apple
Grew to love the poisonous familiarity
Until the day I reached the core
The day she sunk her teeth back into...